Lessons from My Journey: Love and Financial Stability

I’m a hypocrite. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Because when it comes to love vs money, I lived one story, but I want my daughters to live another.

Growing Up Without Unconditional Love

I grew up in a toxic family where love was conditional. Affection only came when I was the “perfect daughter.” Mess up, and suddenly you’re the family disappointment. I saw it happen to my brothers. I knew I couldn’t handle it if it happened to me.

So I became a people pleaser. I worked hard, achieved everything I could, and tied love to performance. But deep down, I knew love wasn’t supposed to be earned—it was supposed to be unconditional.

Bollywood Dreams of Love

Movies became my escape. Especially Bollywood. Those epic romances where love conquers everything—poverty, family disapproval, impossible odds. That was my blueprint for love.

So when I met Nitin—a hotel waiter living paycheck to paycheck—I didn’t care about the social gap. I cared about love. My heart said he was my hero, and I was all in.

We went through hell and back: financial struggles, family battles, even a 9-year legal war. We had days where we couldn’t afford food, defaulted on bills, and relied on others’ kindness just to keep going.

But we made it through. Together.

Fast Forward: A Comfortable Life

Fifteen years into marriage, life looks very different.

• We own our first home.
• We’re parents to two amazing, smart girls.
• We both have stable jobs and enough income to cover bills, treat the kids, and enjoy little luxuries.

We don’t live to impress anyone. Our gadgets are 3-5 years old, our TV is a second-hand bargain, and we never spend just to “keep up.” But we have comfort, stability, and peace—things we fought tooth and nail for.

The Hypocrisy

Here’s the part where I admit I’m a hypocrite.

I never want my daughters to follow in my footsteps. I don’t want them blinded by love to the point they ignore practical reality.

Why? Because love without financial stability is hard. Possible, yes. But painfully hard. And I refuse to let them suffer through what we did.

Different Daughters, Different Paths

• Jiya is a mix of me and Nitin. Caring, but with a no-nonsense edge. She won’t fall for sweet talk, and she’ll never compromise on what she deserves. I don’t worry about her being swept into a love-vs-money whirlwind.
• Maanvi, on the other hand, is my mini-me. A people pleaser. A romantic. The type to give everything for love. And that’s why I want her to see this truth clearly:

Love is beautiful. But love alone doesn’t pay bills, put food on the table, or keep the heating on in winter.

The Lesson I Want My Daughters to Learn

I don’t regret my story with Nitin. Our struggles made us strong, and our love carried us through. But I don’t want my girls to go through the same fire just to learn the difference between romance and reality.

I want them to find partners who not only love them madly but also bring stability, responsibility, and the ability to build a life together.

Because love vs money isn’t a competition—it’s a partnership. You need both.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever believed “love conquers all,” trust me, I’ve lived it. And yes, it can. But it comes with scars.

I want my daughters to know that love should never mean choosing suffering when stability is an option. Because living on love alone may sound romantic—but in reality, it’s exhausting.

And that’s the lesson I’ll keep repeating until it sticks